It's a beautiful Saturday morning and your favorite radio station has just announced the morning deejays are going to be at Katmandu Car World. You hate Katmandu Car World because there are rumors that people get social diseases from just touching the steering wheels on their cars. But, you like T-Shirts. And guess what? They have free T-shirts for everyone while they last! While they last!? Why, that could be for hours! You definitely have enough time to get to Katmandu Car World and grab a T-shirt.
You rush down to Katmandu Car World and the deejays say there are just a few promotional items left like CDs, T-shirts from recent movies you didn't see, and 2 station T-shirts, size: small. "Are those the T-shirts?" you ask. You suddenly come to realize the phrase "while they last" is never a statement of quantity. It is only a statement of proximity - your proximity in being the first or second person there.
The "We're Doing a Remote Broadcast Today - Hang on I Have Another Call" Promo
Radio stations like to make appearances in the summer and try to get listeners all excited when the station is going "on location." Year ago, going on location meant setting up a mini-studio wherever the location was so the radio personality could play the music, commercials, etc. with turntables, tape decks, etc. Since the digital transformation of studios to computer, all the fun stuff is now files and radio stations looks like Excel spreadsheets.
The only thing left in a studio that makes it look like a radio studio is the console. But, too often stations send a guy out with a card table, station banner, and cell phone. He tapes the banner to the card table and sits behind it calling in "reports" to the station on the cell phone. That's not broadcasting, that's leaving a voice mail. Instead of calling remote appearances "remotes" we should just be honest and promote the fact that a deejay is going to be at the Lobster Mambo Restaurant from 4 - 6 p.m. making calls to the station. "Come watch Jack Hawkins call the station and you might win free dinner at Lobster Mambo!"
Whatever summer promotion you encounter this year, remember: radio stations are a business. Sure, they look fun on the outside but that's just for show. Behind the scenes there are hundreds of desperate people who are trying to produce income so the station will have enough money to fend off creditors and keep operating.
Not to mention buy more bumper stickers and card tables.
