The Wacky World of Radio - Perceptions vs. Truth

You've no doubt either listened to a radio show or called one. Maybe both. Not everything you may think about Radio is actually the truth about it. I am about to divulge the inner meaning of some things you may have taken for granted. This will, no doubt, put a target on my back forever and make me a pariah to deejays who have sworn to keep these secrets under wraps.

Song Requests
The Perception: You call a station and request a song. The deejay says, "Okay, we'll try to get it on for you."

The Truth: As Yoda said: "There is no try." What he really means is "no freakin' way."

Why: Because most radio stations have computer software that rotate the station's "library" of music in a methodical way which is more protected than the Jonas Brothers' virginity.

Station Appearances
The Perception: The station promotes it's going to be at (pick a business) on Saturday giving out t-shirts, CDs, and other prizes. Wow! (pick a business) must be the coolest place ever! Why else would the station go there with their van!

The Truth: The station was either paid to go there to do a "remote" broadcast or to make an appearance OR the station is going there as an "added value" bonus to (pick a business). A tire store is NEVER the coolest place ever.

Why: The station has to please clients. (pick a business) is a client and the station has to keep it happy.

Short Work Days #1
The Perception: Those morning guys only work 4 hours-a-day. Then they get to leave at 10 a.m. What a cool job.

The Truth: Good radio personalities probably put more preparation time into a show than the actual length of the show. They get up in the middle of the night and by 6 a.m. have been going for hours. They work hard because Radio is an unstable business and they want to keep their jobs.

Why: They want to have good ratings and keep their jobs.

Short Work Days #2
The Perception: Those morning guys only work 4 hours-a-day. Then they get to leave at 10 a.m. What a cool job.

The Truth: "Blessed" radio personalities walk in at 5:50 a.m. and somehow muddle their way through each show. No one notices the confusion. They work 4 hours and 10 minutes each day and are never unemployed.

Why: These individuals have made contracts with Satan and continually get great ratings.

Radio People Are Ugly
The Perception: Radio people are on the radio because they're not good looking enough to be on TV.

The Truth: They're not good looking enough to be on TV.

Why: Because they're ugly.