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20 Questions and Answers: Everything You Ever Wondered About Radio. Period.

The Wacky World of Radio (Humor/Satire)

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Wacky World of Radio Logo

Wacky World of Radio Logo

Graphic Credit: © Corey Deitz
Being in radio I meet people all the time and they have many questions about the radio business and what it's like to do a radio show. As a public service, I am now going to attempt to answer all relevant questions in a precise and understandable way so that there will no longer be any misconceptions about this business called radio.

If it isn't addressed here, then it's not even a relevant question. I'd like to acknowledge my many years of broadcasting experience and the guidance of a few select individuals for the wisdom I'm about to impart. I do this as a public service for everyone still in radio and those future broadcasters who have yet to grace the airwaves.

Question 1: When did you first decide you were going to be a deejay?
Answer: When I realized I could get a job in radio and avoid actually working for a living.

Question 2: What's the best way to get into radio?
Answer: Most of us still use doors. Occasionally, someone slips in the window but only if they're trying to elude their probation officer.

Question 3: Why do radio people have so many personal issues?
Answer: Because most clinical psychiatrists give you a discount if you have multiple personalities.

Question 4: Why do so many radio personalities have drinking problems?
Answer: Drinking's not the problem. Sobering up is.

Question 5: How much money do you make per year?
Answer: Is that after the booze expenditure?

Question 6: I heard the radio business used to be full of drugs.
Answer: No, the business was drug-free. It was the deejays who were stoned.

Question 7: Do you get free T-shirts?
Answer: Yes. I just hope someday the radio station will give away pants so I can complete my wardrobe.

Question 8: I've always heard that radio engineers are nerdy guys who seem distant and preoccupied.
Answer: I wouldn't know. Find one at a Star Trek Convention and ask them yourself.

Question 9: Who invented radio?
Answer: Radio wasn't "invented." It was discovered 1700 feet underground in an old mine shaft outside Reno, Nevada. Sheesh.

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