10. Radio stations will not give away a prize worth $5 dollars and insist the listener drive 40 miles to “pick it up at the front desk”. They'll mail it.
9. When a listener asks for a request and the on-air personality knows he can’t or won’t play it, he will not lie and say "yes" or “I’ll see what I can do.” Instead, he will offer an alternate suggestion for a song.
8. Every DJ in the country promises to wear at least 1 T-shirt each week that was not given to him by:
1. A company promoting a new product
2. Some record guy
3. A charity he emceed an event for
4. The Promotion Department.
7. Morning shows pledge not to beg for food on-the-air realizing it's a waste of the listener’s time, unprofessional, and degrading.
6. Radio stations will not show up to a remote broadcast with a handful of bumper stickers and a few key chains. They will bring enough giveaways – whatever they are – for everyone realizing no one likes to be left out.
5. Morning shows will not give in to the pushy salesman who insists interviewing his client, the owner of Ralph’s Little Italy-in-a-Box Restaurant & Bowling Alley, will be a compelling interview for their show. It won’t.
4. Radio stations that claim to “talk less” will stop running so many promos with someone yakking at you about how they “talk less”.
3. Satellite Radio services that promise commercial-free music will stop thinking subscribers are so stupid they don’t recognize commercials hiding behind certain “promos” or institutional plugs. They do.
2. Certain congressmen will have an epiphany and realize the Federal Communications Commission is not there to enforce any one individual’s moral agenda.
1. Ryan Seacrest promises to stop taking all the jobs in America.
