Marconi: Privatize AM and FM radio.
Armstrong: Yup. He’s right. Uncle Sam needs to get the hell out of the Radio business altogether and let people actually buy the available radio frequencies. Sure would go a long way to reducing the national debt, too. Sell ‘em all. Besides, that way the market will dictate how stations are programmed. Believe me: privatizing AM and FM would let them be more competitive among themselves and against the new technologies. Plus: it’ll solve this “indecency hysteria”, too.
Marconi: Non sta scherzando!
Armstrong: English, please.
Marconi: Scusilo. I mean, excuse me. What I said was, “He's not kidding!” Put a dozen Howard Sterns on your station if you want. If you get ratings and make money, great! If not, you’ll see how fast the station gets “decent” again.
Armstrong: It’s like Googly said before…100 years ago the government had to protect the people’s interests because nobody knew there would eventually be so many other technologies equal to or even more powerful than AM and FM.
Marconi: Yes, but I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for AM.
Armstrong: Yeah, and me for FM.
Radio Guide: And you should. You worked hard on those technologies and they have served us well.
Marconi: Somebody needs to smack those politicians upside the head. We’re fighting a war on terrorism. The last thing they need to be worried about is how many times “penis” is said on some stupid morning show.
Armstrong: Ditto. Which reminds me: Rush got that from me. You know: that “Dittohead” thing. My idea.
Radio Guide: Are you sure? Rush Limbaugh was only three years old when you committed suicide.
Armstrong: Psyche! Ha ha!
Marconi: Ya know, for a dead guy…he’s a lot of fun.
Radio Guide: Thanks guys….great talking with real Radio pioneers.
Marconi: Not at all. And remember: Privatize!
Armstrong: What he said. ‘Cause my man Marconi is in the house.
Marconi: In the grave.
Armstrong: Psyche!
Marconi: Ha! questo crepe bastarde pazzesche me in su! (Translation: Ha! This crazy bastard cracks me up!)
