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Exclusive Christmas Interview: Inside K-ELF Radio

Santa's Helpers Run Their Own Internet Radio Station


K-ELF Radio Logo

K-ELF Radio Logo

Graphic Credit: © Corey Deitz
(The recession has even hit the North Pole. Because toy requests have fallen, Santa's Elves have thrown in to start their own online radio station: K-ELF. I Spoke with their Program Director.)

Corey: So, do I call you Head Elf?

Head Elf: Yeah, that’s fine. But, now that I’m also the Program Director of K-ELF, I’m wearing a couple of hats: the red and white dorky pointy one with the fuzzy ball at the end that Santa makes me wear AND my gangsta hat that the record rep from Kanye West’s record label gave me.

Corey: You play rap on K-ELF?

Head Elf: Well, not exactly but I give all the record guys a few minutes and don’t worry: I disclosed receiving it. Boy, I miss the good old days when record promoters would fly in, wine and dine me, shove a little snow up my nose.

Corey: You let record people bribe you with cocaine?

Head Elf: Of course not! Look around you, pal. It’s the North Pole. All we got is snow here!

Corey: Sorry. So, how would you describe the format on K-ELF?

Head Elf: You’ve heard of the “Jack” format?

Corey: Sure. That’s kind of like when the format resembles an iPod on shuffle.

Head Elf: Exactly. Well, this is more like the “Jill” format.

Corey: What’s the “Jill” format?

Head Elf: It’s when the music sounds like my wife picked it while suffering from PMS.

Corey: I see. What about jingles?

Head Elf: That’s kind of a loaded word around here given all the previous baggage we have to deal with. You know, that whole “Jingle Bells” thing. God, I hate it.

Corey: So, you don’t use jingles?

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