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My Best and Worst Radio Christmas Parties

Humor/Satire

By

Shrimp Wrapped in Bacon

Shrimp Wrapped in Bacon

Photo by Sara Roahen, Creative Commons
I read this week that holiday office parties are making a comeback this year. That is, opposed to a few years ago after the Great Recession of 2008 took hold, held our economy upside down and shook the change out of all our pockets.

One study says 83% of companies are hosting a holiday party this year, which is up by close to 70% over just last year.

Over the years I've been to an assortment of office parties thrown by the radio stations I've worked for and I started to think about them today right after I received an email announcing this year's entry which is coming up next week. Good news: it will feature "heavy hors d'oeuvres" which is French for "We could not afford to pay for a sit down dinner this year."

Not that it matters because I'm not one of those kinds of people who will look a gift horse in the mouth. That’s an old expression which means you should not be ungrateful when you receive a gift. I don't know about you but anytime somebody offers to give me jumbo shrimp wrapped in bacon, you had me at "Please R.S.V.P….."

Some of the office parties and holiday events I've attended over the years have truly stood out for one reason or another.

The Best Radio Station Office Party

Early in my career I was working at a radio station in Columbus, Ohio which will remain anonymous to protect anyone who might need it. The General Manager arranged for our Christmas party to be at a local Hawaiian-style restaurant. I don't remember exactly what it was called. Something like "Waki Luki Drinki Puki." But, what a party! Not only were we served a complete sit-down meal full of island specialties but the party featured the true mark of an advanced drunk: an open bar!

I'd like to thank the G.M. for his foresight (and alcoholic leanings) because by the time my wife and I left there, we felt like we had just won a Hawaiian vacation. Everything was paid for, including the drinks. So, we ordered many of these huge "group drink" concoctions that arrived at the table in glasses that resemble those pedestal sinks they sell at Home Depot. Each required everyone to communally suck it dry with their own straw.

If "Survivor" host Jeff Probst had been there, he would have kicked us off the island - and probably had us locked up for disturbing the peace.

The Worst Radio Station Office Party

I was working in Chicago and the party was scheduled to be held at some restaurant about an hour from where I lived. When you live in Chicagoland, everything is an hour away. My wife and I couldn't find the place - we were late - and besides that I had promised to provide some sort of animated presentation on my computer.

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