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Confessions of a Morning DJ
Bless Me Father For I Have Done Stupid Stuff
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Being on the Radio is like any other job except for one thing: everyone hears your mistakes. Loud and clear. In Stereo. And believe me: I have made some mistakes.

Early on in my career, when I worked in Toledo, Ohio doing an afternoon program, I repeated, on-the-air, a gay joke I had heard. The joke itself was so silly, today it would hardly be considered offensive. But, then - at that time in that place - it annoyed at least one person: the owner of the Radio station. I was subsequently called into his office and told quite sternly that because I had a contract and they couldn't fire me, I was, instead, being moved over from AM to FM where I would play 6-in-a-row, read a liner, and shut my big fat mouth. I spent the next 7 months in "music format" prison

Then there was the time in Cleveland, Ohio when I completely embarassed myself during a Cleveland Cavaliers basketball game. The morning show I was part of at the time was hosting a Valentine's Day promotion where a couple was to be married during halftime. Everything went fine until we were bidding the crowd goodbye and thanking them for listening. All of a sudden, the last thing I said - to a full crowd at Gund Arena - was "...thanks for listening and Happy Thanksgiving!". HAPPY THANKSGIVING!? Oh My God. In an instant, my brain had somehow turned to cottage cheese. All I had to do was get the right holiday. Is that too much to ask? The next morning, a competitor rubbed it in by sending over a turkey. I deserved it.

But, there's more...like the times - just one or two - when I left the microphone on by accident and didn't realize it. Nothing will induce more panic more quickly than having a salty conversation with someone in the studio, saying things that should NEVER go out over the air, and suddenly taking a call from the listener line which begins, "Did you know I can hear everything you've been saying?". Suddenly a little voice in your head screams: OHMYGOD-HANGUPTHEPHONE-THEMIKEISSTILLON-OHMYGODWHATDIDISAY.

I was fired in Virginia Beach from a Radio station because of the aftermath and controversy caused by a phone call. During the course of the morning show, we took a call from a student who told us it was "Kill Whitey Day" at a local high school. We immediately started discussing it and it became such a controversy on and off the air, after a heated meeting with the General Manager over "philosophical differences", I was given my walking papers.

Of course, there have been plenty of other times I have put my foot in my mouth. Yet, somehow, I have survived the momentary lapses in judgment either through luck or stamina. I'm not sure which. But, one thing is for sure: when I'm not in trouble, Radio sure is fun...and when I AM in trouble - it's even better.

- Corey Deitz

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