More of this Feature • Part 2 of This Conversation

Related Resources • Radio Propaganda - Another Weapon In War

Every city has at least one Radio station that plays CHR: Contemporary Hit Music. And usually, that station has some kind of goofy morning show designed to appeal to listeners with limited time or mental resources to appreciate humor much more sophisticated than say, dialogue in a Pauly Shore movie. Even Baghdad has its own CHR station. But, there, CHR stands for “Can Hear Rockets”.

(Transcript of the “Baghdad Morning Zoo” on KILL-FM, Saddam Hussein’s favorite Radio station.)

DJ Mohammed Aziz: “K-I-L-L FM, your station for “News, Misinformation and Times of Execution by Firing Squad”. Good morning and praise Allah! Here is today’s weather: cloudy with a 60% chance of leaflets being dropped by Infidels flying overhead!

(sound effect: ding ding)

Sidekick Tariq Hussein: Oh DJ Mohammed, you are much funny!

DJ Mohammed Aziz: And you, my friend, are just a lowly Kurd who is lucky to be a sidekick, nevermind to have job. Speaking of which, it is time for this morning’s gas giveaway on K-I-L-L-FM!

Sidekick Tariq Hussein: No, no! Not the GAS again! Save my people! No more gas!

DJ Mohammed Aziz: Not THAT kind of gas, you bumbling no-fly-zone-ninny. I mean the kind of gas you put in, say, an armoured tank carrying a full load of weaponized anthrax!

Sidekick Tariq Hussein: Oh, ha ha ha! A thousand pardons. You mean gas-o-line!

DJ Mohammed Aziz: Yes, that wonderful fuel we will have so much less of once Saddam sets fire to all of our oil wells as part of his “Scorched-Earth” policy.

Sidekick Tariq Hussein: He burns our natural resources because he loves us, right?

DJ Mohammed Aziz: Yes, little-one-who’s-brain-has-been-shrunk-because-of-nerve-agents.

(sound effect: rimshot)

DJ Mohammed Aziz: I am so wacky! Now: I will award the fifth caller 10 gallons of ...

Both: Gas-o-line.....!

DJ Mohammed Aziz: ...if you can answer this trivia question: What are the 439 places scattered around Iraq where Saddam has hidden chemical, biological and/or nuclear weapons and/or components? If you dare to answer under threat of death, call 555-KILL now!

(phone ring)

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