Controversial Radio Host Alex Jones: the Non-Interview

I recently did not have an opportunity to sit down and speak directly with conservative and controversial radio host, Alex Jones. I suspect that's because Jones is busy with his daily radio show and way too busy getting into confrontations with TV interviewers like Piers Morgan. So, I've had to settle for a non-interview with the increasingly famous Jones. Here now is that completely made up conversation. (Satire)